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The Jackal
The jackal is the attack chair. When we are feeling attacked we attack.It's can be difficult to remember that meaning resides with the listener. After all, we know what we mean---why don't they? If you are trying to motivate, get information or move a project along...

The Hedgehog Chair
When we choose to sit in the Hedgehog chair we are still attacking and blaming, however in the case of the Hedgehog we are blaming ourselves, adopting victim status. It's all about me, and how stupid, dumb, incompetent, worthless I am. The payoff is generally...

The Meerkat (PHEW)!
Moving to the Meerkat chair we discover how the meerkat can be one of our best friends! Pause. Breathe deeply and consider, What am I thinking? What am I telling myself? Take a moment and consider, what if the opposite of what I am thinking is actually the truth. Our...

Hallelujah! We’ve Made it To The Dolphin Chair!
Marshall Rosenberg says an uncomfortable feeling is a symptom of an unmet need. The dolphin chair requires we take the time to examine what we really want so that we can express our needs without aggression. Our communication goal here is to be assertive, clear and...

The Giraffe Chair
Once we are clear what we want from our communication it's time to move into the Giraffe chair and consider what the other person wants. If you are a human being person you are likely to be looking for connection, respect, trust, appreciation, and recognition. If your...

People Do People Things
People Do People Things. Having Feelings is a People Thing Although we try to pretend otherwise, feelings are part of life. Becoming aware of what we are feeling and learning how to manage the expression of our feelings is part of a thinking person's evolution. In...

The Value of Empathy
The Western World has been successful in enculturating a value system that places heavy emphasis on performing, producing, competing, and consuming. The use of the internet has further impacted these tendencies placing outsized importance on those same values. When we...

Who KNEW Communication Was SO Challenging?
According to Michigan State University Extension's Stress Less with Mindfulness program, a person has between 70-80,000 thoughts a day. 90 percent of these thoughts are ones we have had before, and 80 percent of these are negative. So there we sit at work. Innocently...

VUCA is MY Problem?
VUCA stands for Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity, and Ambiguity. First used by the military to describe the diplomatic and strategic landscape in the post-WWII climate, businesses began adopting the phrase after the 2008 banking crisis. Volatility, uncertainty,...

Lots of Things That Are NOT Empathy
EMPATHY IS NOT: Giving Advice / FixingWhy don’t you...If I were you...You should...MinimizingCome on. It’s not the end of the world! It could be worseAt least you’ve got a job!InterrogatingWhat are you going to do? Why do you think they did that?Self-ReferencingWait...
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