Once we are clear what we want from our communication it’s time to move into the Giraffe chair and consider what the other person wants. 
If you are a human being person you are likely to be looking for connection, respect, trust, appreciation, and recognition. 
If your communication does not include some, most or all of those aspects your message will fall on deaf ears.  
Communication is work. It seems easier to fall back on your position if you are in authority, with a “Because I said so”, attitude—Except that will generally fail with any thinking person. We choose to proactively craft our communication for maximum efficiency and effectiveness. 
We do this by asking open-ended questions: This style of communication facilitates connection 

Connecting Questions Start With “What” and “How”  

What can I do?
What can I contribute?  
What can I learn from this? 
What action can I take?
How can I improve my performance? 
How can I be more effective?
How can I make a difference here? 
How can I improve my performance?
How can I help?