When we choose to sit in the Hedgehog chair we are still attacking and blaming, however in the case of the Hedgehog we are blaming ourselves, adopting victim status. It’s all about me, and how stupid, dumb, incompetent, worthless I am. The payoff is generally attention and support, reassurance that no, no, no you are just fine it’s the other person who is at fault and to blame. The oldest of tapes are playing in our heads. Once again we never graduate from the perception of the problem as our problem to seeing that we have an opportunity to meet a challenge head-on and co-create solutions. We are lost and alone in our little world. We feel safe in the cacoon of our misperceptions.
This does not mean you are “bad” or “defective”, it means you are human.
The good news is that shifting to the Meerkat chair opens up a world of possibilities.